Aladdin’s Lamp just got camp.

#TheRVTPanto #RubbedPanto 

18 + only

  Buy your tickets here

‘Shows like this succeed in capturing the giddy, chaotic and explosive feeling that Panto gives you when you’re a kid – just in a more adult setting. You get to shout rude words, you get pelted with chocolate fingers, and you get to act like a complete dick for a couple of hours, with no kids around to ruin it. And if lines like “straight up the shitter with an HB pencil” don’t get you in the festive spirit, I don’t know what will.’ Exeunt Magazine

We’ve been hard at work at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern like demented elves in a Christmas stolen goods grotto creating a new panto for 2018 and this years twisted offering is… Rubbed! Aladdins Lamp just got camp.  

Several years have passed from the original ‘Aladdin’ story and Genie is now retired and living in their Lamp in South London, estranged from Aladdin who is leading a playboy life in Monaco with his begrudging Scottish companion; Twanky.

However, evil villain Abenazar is still determined to get his hands on the lamp using dirty tricks and camp disguises. Genie enlists the help of a new and sassy trainee genie, The Spirit of The Ring and her Tragic Carpet, Genie must find Aladdin and prove he is the rightful owner of the lamp and foil Abenazar's scheme.

Will Abenazar evict Genie, does Aladdin mend the error of his ways, will the Slave of the ring ever find love and be free and does the tragic carpet actually work? Who knows!

Join us for another helping of the RVT panto where magical secrets are revealed, ancient grudges settled, Shirley Bassey impersonations performed and there is more crap magic than a Year 7 talent show. As the true owner of the lamp is chosen, Aladdin and Genie must confront their own feelings for each other and face that fairy-tale taboo – the forbidden love between Master and Slave…

So let us bring some light into your cold winter nights – come and get Rubbed….

Praise for RVT Panto’s

‘it is nothing short of an hilarious night out and comes highly recommended if you are in the mood for some smutty, irreverent and wickedly funny comedy and are able to give yourself up completely to this first class adult panto experience.’ Jack the Lad Magazine

‘The jokes come fast and razor sharp like a knife thrower on Red Bull. At times, the wit is so clever, it takes a moment for the laugh, or groan, to come but the pace never lets up and the quickfire comedy powers ahead.’

 ‘The physical comedy is superb and the innuendos have the crowd in fits as interactive cheering sees a room full of people shouting “we love Dick!” to the protagonist. I challenge even the most humourless of prudes to go along and not crack a smile’ - The Weekender

 ‘So round up friends, colleagues, family, and anyone you know that has a rudimentary understanding of fisting, and treat yourself to this most festive of romps. We guarantee that even the most stone-hearted of you will head out into the cold night feeling all fuzzy and Christmassy inside!’ QX

Starring Topsie Redfern, Robert McNeilly, Faye Reeves, Rich Watkins and Alan Hunter.

Written by Paul Joseph and Tim Benzie 

Directed by Tim McArthur (RVT Panto’s Fannie, Jack! Sissy That Stalk, Charming Dick, Bendover in Boots)

Musical direction by Aaron Clingham


Doors 7pm

Show 8pm

Tickets £16

Buy your tickets here